De Wan en Onli in da Philippines

Ngiiiiiyaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . . . . .
Forward March. . . Left. . . Left. . . Left, Right, Left. . . he he he



Date: Friday, 28 August, 2009, 10:48 AM





A couple of days ago, an embarrasing scene was played on TV when a flip general was carried on someone else shoulder so he wouldnt get wet when he stepped on a banka boat . the american officer on the other hand waded on the water and stepped on the banka without any help. See the symbolism on why the philippines have problems ?

I think the Filipino General should be fired. How could he win the war against the Abu Sayaf? Eh, tubig lang takot na siya. Nakakahiya!! . . .(Daw. . . . OWWwwwwwww. . . . )

Lalong nakakahiya doon sa Kano na kasunod niya.
he he he he he he he he (Hindi nga nahiya ehhhhh!!!)

BAGONG PEDICURE SIGURO SI SIR! ! . . . . este si General Problem. . .(Hay! type ko rin magpapedicure sa mga Abu Sayyaf). . .

Send this to all your friends and hopefully this will circulate back to the Philippines . . . .

FERRY RIDE ALONG ILOG PASIG

Mention riding a ferry along the Pasig River to most people, and you will almost always be met with a disgusted look, or a wrinkling of the nose. While the Pasig River has become legendary for its filth, that will not deter us from trying out the Pasig River Ferry, because the experience will not be as bad as one would expect. I decided to go on a Sunday, starting off at the Guadalupe station, which was just a few meters away from the MRT's own Guadalupe stop. Upon entering the ferry station, I was greeted by a rather clean, tiny structure--quite a contrast against the murky river. Tiles were new and clean, the waiting area was airconditioned, and everyone--from the security guard to the ticket seller--was friendly and courteous. It also had facilities for the handicapped, which makes this mode of transportation a good option than other commuting facilities. I purchased a ticket for P25, and found the ticket quite fancy. Printed on thermal paper, it looked like a receipt printed with a barcode, and you have to just swipe it over the sensor of the turnstile to enter the platform. Unfortunately, the tickets are coll ected before you board the ferry, so there are no chances of keeping it as a souvenir.

Most of you will be delighted to know that the ferry is airconditioned, which means you don't have to worry about the stench of the river. The twin-engine catamaran-type ferry employs blue plastic seats that are comfortable enough for the 50-minute ride to Escolta. It's been said that the ferry can accommodate 150 passengers at a time. A uniformed guard from the Presidential Security Group (PSG) is also on board, because the ferry passes by Malacanang Palace (there lives the president of the Philippines).

Escolta station If you're worried that the boat ride might get boring, you'd be wrong. The ferry is equipped with a flat-screen TV that shows music videos of Air Supply, or some videoke tracks that you can sing along to while on board.

And if that isn't your type of entertainment, the view along the route is actually pretty interesting. I will not fool you into thinking that it was grand or awesome or breathtaking, because it really wasn't. The river could really use a good cleaning, but the view along the riverbank is something you don't see every day.

Manila Post Office It gives you a different view on things. The houses that you don't normally see when your bus is hurtling past EDSA, the naked children swimming in the river who think nothing of the filthy flotsam on the waters, and the rusty barges that float alongside you on the river. It's not a glorious sight, but it's still a fresh perspective. Plus, the ride is so much calmer, especially compared to getting shaken around as your car criss-crosses its way to beat the traffic along busy Guadalupe.

Abandoned warehouses Truth be told, I see a lot of potential in this ferry. The ferry itself is great--it's airconditioned, it's clean, and it's quite fast. I was disembarking at Escolta after about 45-50 minutes. It's a great alternative to commuting by land or rail--especially when you think about the buses with drivers that seem to believe they're driving Kia Prides, or the number of people you have to fight off just to get precious space on the train. To date, there are six stations up and running: Guadalupe, Hulo, Lambingan, Sta. Ana, PUP, Lawton and Escolta. They're thinking of adding more stations in Marikina and San Juan to cover more areas.

Hulo station The fare scheme has changed since the opening of the Pasig River Ferry Project. It started out with a flat-rate of P25 (less than $0.60 or > 60c) to and from any destination. Weekends still have the P25 flat-rate, but because there seem to be very few patrons of the ferry plus with the high price of gasoline, fares are now at P25, P35, and P45 on weekdays, depending on the distance. Still the ferry is the fastest way to go places around Metro Manila within the Pasig River area NO TRAFFIC Ferry schedules start at 5:45 AM in Guadalupe, and end at 10:15 PM in Escolta. There are 30-minute intervals between departures. Aside from the novelty, riding the Pasig Ferry actually has a lot of perks. How else can you get to Escolta from Guadalupe in less than an hour? It's also a pretty good alternative if you're lugging plenty of purchases from Divisoria or Tutuban. You no longer need to fight for space on the jeep, or inconvenience other passengers with your packages. It's a great way to rest your tired feet after a long day of walking around Binondo. So next time you're thinking of a different way to travel, try out the Pasig Ferry.

Dates with Different Ladies

AMERICAN WOMEN: First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to make out a bit. Third date: You get to have sex.

IRISH WOMEN:


First Date:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.

CHINESE WOMEN:

First date:
You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date:
You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date:
You don't even get to the third date and you've already realized nothing
is ever going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN:

First date:
Meet her parents.
Second date:
Set the date of the wedding.
Third date:
Wedding night.

MEXICAN WOMEN:

First Date:
You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in
the back of her car.
Second Date:
She's pregnant.
Third Date:
She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her
two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's
girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his
three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your
life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along
the Tijuana strip.

ARAB WOMEN:

First Date:
Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire Arab community finds out.
Second Date:
Guy is shot dead.
No third date!!!

LEBANESE WOMEN:

First Date:
You will have to spend all your money to impress
Second Date:
You will take a loan to keep the image
Third Date :
Your are broke, she finds someone wealthier

****************************

Touching Story For Professionals

PLEASE READ.
>
> Subject: Touching story for professionals
> A small touching story mainly for professionals...
>
> A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to
> find his 5-year old
> son waiting for him at the door.
> SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
>
> DAD: "Yeah sure, what it is?" replied the man.
> SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"
> DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you
> ask such a thing?" the man
> said angrily.
>
> SON: "I just want to know.. Please tell me, how
> much do you make an
> hour?"
> DAD: "If you must know, I make $20.00 an
> hour."
> SON: "Oh," the little boy replied, with his
> head down.
>
> SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow $10.00 ?"
>
> The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked
> that is so you can
> borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other
> nonsense, then you march
> yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about
> why you are being
> so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish
> behaviour."
>
> The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
> The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the
> little boy's
> questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some
> money?
> After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and
> started to think:
> Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that
> $10.00 and he really didn't ask for money very
> often. The man went to
> the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
> "Are you asleep, son?" He asked.
> "No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.
>
> "I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you
> earlier" said the man.
> "It's been a long day and I took out my
> aggravation on you. Here's the
> $10.00 you asked for."
> The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank
> you daddy!" He yelled.
>
> Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled
> up bills. The
> man saw that the boy already had money, started to get
> angry again. The
> little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up
> at his father.
>
> "Why do you want more money if you already have
> some?" the father grumbled.
>
> "Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,"
> the little boy replied.
> "Daddy, I have $20.00 now. Can I buy an hour of your
> time?
>
> Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have
> dinner with you."
> The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little
> son, and he
> begged for his forgiveness.
> It's just a short reminder to all of you working so
> hard in life. We should
> not let time slip through our fingers without having spent
> some time with
> those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.
>
> Do remember to share that $20.00 worth of your time with
> someone you
> love.
> If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for
> could easily
> replace us in a matter of days.
> But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the
> loss for the rest of
> their lives.
>
> And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work
> than to our
> family.
>
>
> PLS READ WITH FAITH.. This is an awesome prayer.
>
> Believe it and you shall be blessed.
>
> The problem with many of us is that we don't believe
> that God will open a
> Window and pour out blessings that we won't have room
> to receive them. I
> Dare anyone to try God. He is true to His word. God cannot
> lie and His
> Promises are sure.
>
> My prayer for you today:
>
> The eyes beholding this message shall not behold evil, the
> hands that will
>
> Send this message to others shall not labour in vain, the
> mouth saying Amen
>
> To this prayer shall laugh forever. Remain in God's
> love as you send this
> Prayer to everybody y on y our list. Have a lovely journey
> of life! Trust
> In the Lord with all your heart and He will never fail you
> because He is
> AWESOME!
> If you truly need a blessing, continue reading this email:
>
> Heavenly Father, most Gracious and Loving God, I pray to
> you that you
> Abundantly bless my family and me. I know that you
> recognize, that a
> Family is more than just a mother, father, sister, brother,
> husband and
> wife, but all who believe and trust in you. Father, I send
> up a prayer
> request for blessings for not only the person who sent this
> to me, but for
> me and all that I have forwarded this message on to. And
> that the power of
> joined prayer by those who believe and trust in you is
> more powerful than
> anything.. I thank you in advance for your blessings.
> Father God, deliver
> the person reading this right now from debt and debt's
> burdens. Release
> your Godly wisdom that I may be a good steward over all
> that You have
> given me Father, for I know how wonderful and mighty you
> are and how if we
> just obey you and walk In your word and have the faith of
> a mustard seed
> that you will pour out blessings. I thank you now Lord for
> the recent
> blessings I have received and for the blessings yet to come
> because I know
> you are not done with me yet.
>
> In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen
>
>
> TAKE 60 SECONDS and send this on quickly and within hours,
> you will have
> caused a multitude of people to pray to God for each other.
>
> Then sit back and watch the power of God work in your life
> for doing the
> thing that you know He loves. Remain Blessed!!!
>
> Have an awesome day
>
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> information. If you
> are not the intended recipient please do not use its
> contents for any
> purpose, advise the sender immediately by reply e-mail and
> delete this
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