PLEASE READ.
>
> Subject: Touching story for professionals
> A small touching story mainly for professionals...
>
> A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to
> find his 5-year old
> son waiting for him at the door.
> SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
>
> DAD: "Yeah sure, what it is?" replied the man.
> SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"
> DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you
> ask such a thing?" the man
> said angrily.
>
> SON: "I just want to know.. Please tell me, how
> much do you make an
> hour?"
> DAD: "If you must know, I make $20.00 an
> hour."
> SON: "Oh," the little boy replied, with his
> head down.
>
> SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow $10.00 ?"
>
> The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked
> that is so you can
> borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other
> nonsense, then you march
> yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about
> why you are being
> so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish
> behaviour."
>
> The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
> The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the
> little boy's
> questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some
> money?
> After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and
> started to think:
> Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that
> $10.00 and he really didn't ask for money very
> often. The man went to
> the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
> "Are you asleep, son?" He asked.
> "No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.
>
> "I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you
> earlier" said the man.
> "It's been a long day and I took out my
> aggravation on you. Here's the
> $10.00 you asked for."
> The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank
> you daddy!" He yelled.
>
> Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled
> up bills. The
> man saw that the boy already had money, started to get
> angry again. The
> little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up
> at his father.
>
> "Why do you want more money if you already have
> some?" the father grumbled.
>
> "Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,"
> the little boy replied.
> "Daddy, I have $20.00 now. Can I buy an hour of your
> time?
>
> Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have
> dinner with you."
> The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little
> son, and he
> begged for his forgiveness.
> It's just a short reminder to all of you working so
> hard in life. We should
> not let time slip through our fingers without having spent
> some time with
> those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.
>
> Do remember to share that $20.00 worth of your time with
> someone you
> love.
> If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for
> could easily
> replace us in a matter of days.
> But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the
> loss for the rest of
> their lives.
>
> And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work
> than to our
> family.
>
>
> PLS READ WITH FAITH.. This is an awesome prayer.
>
> Believe it and you shall be blessed.
>
> The problem with many of us is that we don't believe
> that God will open a
> Window and pour out blessings that we won't have room
> to receive them. I
> Dare anyone to try God. He is true to His word. God cannot
> lie and His
> Promises are sure.
>
> My prayer for you today:
>
> The eyes beholding this message shall not behold evil, the
> hands that will
>
> Send this message to others shall not labour in vain, the
> mouth saying Amen
>
> To this prayer shall laugh forever. Remain in God's
> love as you send this
> Prayer to everybody y on y our list. Have a lovely journey
> of life! Trust
> In the Lord with all your heart and He will never fail you
> because He is
> AWESOME!
> If you truly need a blessing, continue reading this email:
>
> Heavenly Father, most Gracious and Loving God, I pray to
> you that you
> Abundantly bless my family and me. I know that you
> recognize, that a
> Family is more than just a mother, father, sister, brother,
> husband and
> wife, but all who believe and trust in you. Father, I send
> up a prayer
> request for blessings for not only the person who sent this
> to me, but for
> me and all that I have forwarded this message on to. And
> that the power of
> joined prayer by those who believe and trust in you is
> more powerful than
> anything.. I thank you in advance for your blessings.
> Father God, deliver
> the person reading this right now from debt and debt's
> burdens. Release
> your Godly wisdom that I may be a good steward over all
> that You have
> given me Father, for I know how wonderful and mighty you
> are and how if we
> just obey you and walk In your word and have the faith of
> a mustard seed
> that you will pour out blessings. I thank you now Lord for
> the recent
> blessings I have received and for the blessings yet to come
> because I know
> you are not done with me yet.
>
> In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen
>
>
> TAKE 60 SECONDS and send this on quickly and within hours,
> you will have
> caused a multitude of people to pray to God for each other.
>
> Then sit back and watch the power of God work in your life
> for doing the
> thing that you know He loves. Remain Blessed!!!
>
> Have an awesome day
>
> This message may contain confidential and/or privileged
> information. If you
> are not the intended recipient please do not use its
> contents for any
> purpose, advise the sender immediately by reply e-mail and
> delete this
> message and any attachments without retaining a copy.
About Cancer
AFTER YEARS OF TELLING PEOPLE CHEMOTHERAPY IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRY AND ELIMINATE CANCER, JOHNS HOPKINS IS FINALLY STARTING TO TELL YOUTHERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY .
�
[Cancer Update from Johns Hopkins ]
2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.
3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.
5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.
6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.
7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.
8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.
9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.
10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.
11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.
WHAT CANCER CELLS FEED ON:
a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal,Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.
c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.
d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes t o nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells.� T
e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties. Water--best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.
12... Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrified and leads to more toxic buildup.
14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.
15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. 
16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.
(PLEASE FORWARD IT TO PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT)
This is an article that should be sent to every one you care about.
TAWA MUNA
BF : May ibibigay akong gift sayo, pero hulaan mo muna!
GF: Sige, clue naman...
BF: Kailangan ito ng leeg mo.
GF: Kwintas?
BF: Hindi... PANGHILOD! SMILE!!!
JUDGE: Ano ba talaga nangyari?
ERAP: ? (di nagsasalita)
JUDGE: Sumagot ka sa tanong.
ERAP: Naman eh!!! Kala ko ba hearing lang to??? Bakit may speaking?
Sa Math Class...
Teacher: Banong, kung meron akong 1 piraso ng karne at hinati ko ito, ilang
piraso na?
Banong: 2 po mam!
Teacher: At kung hnati ko pa pareho?
Banong: 4 na piraso po!
Teacher: Hinati ko ulit.
Banong: 8 piraso po.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa.
Banong: 16 po mam.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa?
Banong: 32 piraso na po!
Teacher: Kung hinati ko ulit?
Banong: 64 po! (nakangiti)
Teacher: At hinati ko pa? 2 beses ko pang hinati?
Banong: Ay susmaryosep mam! GINILING napo! GINILING!!!
SA BAKERY
Pulubi: Palimos po ng cake.
Ale: Aba, sosyal ka ah! Namalimos ka lang, gusto mo pang cake.. eto
pandesal!
Pulubi: Duh! Ate?! Bday ko kaya today?!?
ANAK: Tay mag-ingat kayo sa DANKTRAK!.
TATAY: ano ung danktrak?
ANAK: Yun pong trak na 10 ang gulong na karga buhangin?
TATAY: Tanga inde danktrak un...TEN MILLER!!!
BOY: Wala akong kwentang anak para sa inyo! Lahat ng ginagawa ko puro mali!
Lagi nalang ako mali!!! Di 'nyo na ako mahal!
AMA: Nagkakamali ka anak?
BOY: Shet! Mali na naman ako!!!
Nanay: Ang lakas mo kumain pero di ka mautusan. Ang kapal mo!
Anak: Kapag yung baboy natin malakas kumain, natutuwa ka. Sino b talaga ang
anak mo, ako o ung baboy? Umayos ka nay! Wag ganun!
(Sa loob ng Mall)
GUY: LOVE, yan ang dati kong girlfriend.
Jowa: Ang pangit pangit naman!
GUY: Wala akong magagawa, yan talaga ang weakness ko ever since...
NARS: doc, bat tinanggihan nyo yung pasyente?
DR: alin, yung bakla?
NARS: opo. Baka sabihin namimili tayo, porket bading siya.
DR: ano naman raraspahin ko sa kanya?
FROG: what does my future hold?
FAIRY: you'll meet someone who wants to know everything about you..
FROG: great! Will I meet her in a party?
FAIRY: no. in biology class
Things you don't want to hear during your own surgery:
-san yung gunting na bago? Bat may kalawang to?
-10ml? may nakasurvive na ba dyan? Sabi ko 5ml lang!
-doc, ubos na po pala yung anesthesia.
-kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan yung pantahi?
-sunog! Sunog! Labas lahat!
inspiring quote of the day:
"hindi ako tamad. Hindi ko lang alam kung saan ko ibubuhos kasipagan ko."
'dear te, dear te, dear te!!!' (dirty pala!!!!)
-sigaw ni Anabel Rama kay Lorin at Veniz (mga anak ni Rofa) habang
naglalaro ng tubig sa kanal.
MRS: hon, am I pretty or ugly?
MR: uhm.. both..
MRS: anong both? Pwedeng pretty and ugly?
MR: ang ibig ko sabihin, you're pretty ugly.
TEACHER: okay class our lesson for today is science. What is science?
PEDRO: ako ma'am! Ako ma'am!
TEACHER: okay Pedro, what is science?
PEDRO: science is our lesson for today.
AMO: inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay.
(nilabas ni Inday)
INDAY: off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such
unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
PULUBI: oh! I'm so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks!
(nakakuha na ng katapat si Inday!)
NOSEBLEED!!
BOB: nakakamagkano ka sa 1 araw?
PULUBI: nag-uumpisa kasi ako ng 8am. Ngayon 9am na. naka 80 na ko.
BOB: hindi din masama noh? Ano mabibili mo niyan?
PULUBI: pwede na tong isang espresso macchiato sa starbucks!
DOC: umubo ka!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: ubo pa!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: okay.
PEDRO: ano po ba sakit ko doc?
DOC: may ubo ka.
in a miss gay pageant:
HOST: how can we uplift our economy today even though we are under economic
crisis?
BAKLA: (namutla) mga bakla! Akala ko ba miss gay ito? Quizbee pala!
1. Trulalu.
2. eklavu
3. eklavu.
4. trulalu
5. eklavu
6. trulalu
7. trulalu.
8. eklavu
9. trulalu
10. trulalu
-batang bading nagsasagot ng true or false na quiz.
MEKANIKO: sir, hindi ko po naayos preno ng kotse niyo.
CUSTOMER: ha?! Pano yan?
MEKANIKO: nilakasan ko na lang po ang inyong busina! Happy trip na lang po!
Kung nag GAY LANGUAGE sana sila GMA at GARCI eh di walang SCAM!
GMA: hallow gracia!
GARCI: uy mother ever! Na chenilyn de kimberlyn ko na po yung mga chuva ek ek.
GMA: bonggacious! Eh yung mga chenes chenes, carry na ba?
GARCI: flatshoes! Winnie santos mama, wiz na wori eclavou na ever! Na chorva na!
GMA: ang tarushki! Maldita ka talaga vruha ka! Eh di windra na naman
watashi?!
GARCI: anufi ate.
GMA: oshah ba.
Divorced father: anak pag-uwi mo bigay mo sa nanay mo itong cheke at sabihin mo 18 yrs old ka na, huling cheke na makukuha niya for child
support tapos tignan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya.
Anak: mom, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sayo itong cheke, last support na niya ito sakin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tignan ko daw expression ng face mo.
Mom: sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya paki sabi salamat sa suporta kahit di mo siya tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo expression ng face niya!
BOY: dad, tulong naman sa assignment ko. Find the least common denominator daw.
DAD: ha? aba'y elementary pa lang ako eh hinahanap na nila yan ah! Aba'y di pa ba nila nakikita?
Anong sabi ng centipede nung may nakasalubong siyang isang centipede?
"uy pare. Apir!apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir!
apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!.... ......
Jaworski while coaching: keber sa kalaban! Just focus! We cannot afford to
luz valdez ! Getlakin niyo yung last freethrow! Windangin yung mga julaban!
Ok! Go for the gold to the highest level mga chorva! Gow lang! gow lang ng gow!
BOY1: nakakakawa naman lola mo.
BOY2: bakit?
BOY1: nakasabay ko kasi magsimba nung isang araw, ubo ng ubo.
Pinagtitinginan nga ng tao.
BOY2: papansin lang yun!
BOY1: bakit?
BOY2: bago kasi blouse niya!
A boss confused about his Math asked his secretary:
If I give you P3M less 17%, how much would you take off?
SECRETARY: everything sir! Dress, bra, panty!
TEACHER: mga bata, alam niyo ba na ang bawat butil ng palay ay galing sa dugo't pawis ng mga magsasaka?
MGA BATA: eeewwww!
BOY: is this your first time?
GIRL: (angrily) oo naman noh. You guys talaga. So kuleeet! Always asking me the same question. Paulit-ulit. Hmp!
Magsyota sa motel.
BF: alam mo love, ikaw ang first girl na dinala ko dito.
GF: sinungaling. Sabi nila lagi ka dito!
BF: oo, pero ikaw lang talaga ang girl!
STUDENT: ma'am, pagagalitan niyo po ba ako sa bagay na hindi ko naman ginawa?
TEACHER: natural hindi.
STUDENT: good, di ko po ginawa assignment ko!
PARI: halika sa sulok
MADRE: bakit po?
PARI: sara mo pinto.
MADRE: wag po!
PARI: patayin mo ilaw!
MADRE: diyos ko po!
PARI: tamo rosary ko. Glow in the dark!
TITSER: bat ka na-late?
EDWARD: nawalan ho kasi ng 500 yung lalaki.
TITSER: tinulungan mo siyang maghanap?
EDWARD: hindi po, tinapakan ko lang hanggang umalis siya.
Sa kasalan
PARI: sana ang donation mo ay katumbas ng ganda ng pakakasalan mo.
GROOM: eto P5, father.
Tinignan ng pari ang bride.
PARI: eto P4 sukli mo iho.
Sabi nung friend ko, nakakalaki daw ng tiyan ang beer. Kasi noon minsan nalasing siya, nabuntis siya!
Sinoli ni Erap ang libro sa library.
ERAP: sobrang dami ng characters wala naman storya.
LIBRARIAN: kayo pala kumuha ng telephone directory namin!
SA OSPITAL.....
WIFE: hon, nahirapan ako huminga.
HUSBAND: kung nahirapan ka ng huminga, itigil mo na.
GF: magaling! At sino tong baby na nagtext sayo?
BF: ah eh kumpare ko yun! Lalake yun! Baby lang palayaw.
GF: oh eto replyan mo. Hindi daw kayo tuloy at may mens daw ang tarantado!
INA: anak, tawagan mo nga tatay mo sa celfon. Pauwiin mo dito.
[pagkatapos tawagan.]
ANAK: nay, babae po ang sumagot.
INA: lintik, sinasabi ko na nga ba, may tinatago yang tatay mo eh! Anong sabi?
ANAK: 'you only have zero pesos in your account...' hindi ko na tinapos nay mukhang matapobre.
nagbubungkal ng lupa si Erap para magtanim. Akala ng nakakita niloloko lang siya dahil wala naman siyang tinatanim.
BANTAY: sir, wala naman kayong tinatanim ah.
ERAP: bobo! Seedless to!
ANAK: nay, ano po ba yung 10 commandments?
NANAY: yun yung sampung utos ng Diyos.
ANAK: mas makapangyarihan pa po pala kayo sa Diyos eh!
NANAY: bakit?
ANAK: ang dami niyong utos eh!
thought to ponder:
hindi kaya ang dahilan ng pagbaha sa panahon ni Noah ay pinutol niya lahat
ng puno para gumawa ng napaka laking arko? ano sa tingin mo?
kung totoo ang ' Darwin 's theory of evolution' na ang tao ay nagmula sa unggoy, bakit may mga taong mukhang kabayo?
DORAY: mare, kulang pa kami ng isang miyembro. baka gusto mong sumali sa paluwagan.
PINANG : hindi pa ako pwede, mare.
DORAY: bakit mare?
PINAY: virgin pa kasi ako.
Si Erap nakabasag ng vase sa Museum, yung attendant nataranta.
ATTENDANT: naku sir, more than 500 years old na po yang vase.
ERAP: hay salamat. Akala ko bago
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)